May 10, 2011

Just a quick FYI this blog is ALL OVER THE PLACE, and probably makes NO sense.. but I have a bunch I needed to get out and just let go... here it is.....

I really miss my dog. This has been THE hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with in my entire life!
We got Kava when he was just a puppy, about a year old. I was about 7 years old. I remember the day that we got him, I got home from school and saw this little brown puppy in our living room. We named him Kava because he was brown, ha ha jokes!

He had been with us for just a little over 10 years! 10 years is a looooooooong time!! For about the last year he has been really sick, and just old. He limped when he walked and was getting sores on his legs and face. He had arthritis in his back legs. A very old dog.

Kava has always been my best friend! He knows all of my secrets that no one else knows. And I know people are saying things like why is she so sad? its just a dog, and I thought those things too, before I've had to go through this. And no one understands what its like until you go through it, its like loosing a little brother, someone in your family. He had been with us for so long that he has just become part of our family.

These past 3 days have been THE hardest days in my life. Coming home to be greeted by just Tobi. When someone knocks on the door and its only Tobi barking. Its just not the same, Kava's not there to make me feel safe when I'm home alone. Even Tobi can tell that something is different, he constantly is looking for something/someone to cuddle with and lay by.

I can't even begin to explain how it felt when my mom came into my room and said "Kava just died." I was hoping that she was kidding, but I went into the family room and there he was,  just lifeless, laying on his side. Not breathing. I think it hit me a little harder then the rest of my siblings. I've been with him the longest. It broke my heart. My dad covered him up and I laid next to him while by dad and grandpa where figuring out what to do with him, I didn't say much because I couldn't even bring myself to stop crying!


That was a day that I will NEVER forget! I know that I will eventually become content and be able to gain some closure and be alright, and for the time being this is the most difficult thing I have EVER had to go through.... I miss my dog.... <3